I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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