We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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