hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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