is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize