I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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