I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
