i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
