I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize