just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
