If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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