I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
