This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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