Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
