I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
