I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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