you guys were way drunker than both of me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
