Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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