Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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