I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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