I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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