Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
