Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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