True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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