just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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