I can feel you judging me through the phone.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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