If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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