You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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