If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
