dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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