do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
