Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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