I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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