oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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