No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
