I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
