things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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