I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
