my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
