Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
