Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
