My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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