My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
