I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
