It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
