these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
