Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
