ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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