everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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