I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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