shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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