Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
