Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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