whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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