Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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