Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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