I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
