stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize