while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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