Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I smell stomach acid.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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