I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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