So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
